Star Wars may have been the spark to get me motivated to
write here again, but the real catalyst has been some conversations and
situations at work and with some gaming friends over the last few months that
really made me determined to finally start getting my thoughts out here in the
Outhouse, maybe just so I can maintain what’s left of my own sanity. There’s a
certain (what I call) Brilliant Incompetence to the corporate mindset which has
manifested itself at work over the course of the summer and fall. Coupling that
with the absolute shadiness of the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation, I’ve
found myself being more and more outspoken about the sheer idiocy I have
witnessed in the corporate decisions we have been subjected to at work. But
before I go any further, let me just say that the last several years I have
been working in the retail environment after finding myself jobless from the
tech industry have probably been the most rewarding in relation to the job
stress vs. job satisfaction ratio. Which makes it all the more frustrating when
I see decisions being passed down that lack any form of common sense or regard
for the actual work environment in a retail store. In this time I have become
more and more outspoken about them, and I have found that has translated more
and more into my everyday life.
I’ve always been a shy and quiet individual, and only
spoke my mind on few occasions in my young adult years … and no so young adult
years. Most of the conversations I have ever had are usually with myself. For
far too long I was always worried what other people thought of me and always
wanted people to like me. Sometimes it got to the point where I put myself in
situations where my happiness, and more, was as risk trying to please other
people. So rather than offend someone, I just usually stayed silent, even if it
was to my detriment. There are only a handful of occasions where I have
regretted saying something I probably shouldn’t have – some of them when I had
a few too many back in my drinking days. But I have lost count of the times I
have regretted not saying something I wanted to say, or should have said
in any given situation. I feel fortunate now, that with a little bit of age,
and having more confidence in myself thanks to my gaming videos and
livestreams, and of course this blog, that I have been able to shed some of
that fear of speaking my mind, and I feel so much better now that I can just go
without bothering about a filter. I used to hate people like the stereotypical grumpy
old man yelling at the neighborhood kids to stay off of his yard. Now however,
I relish the time I can say what I need to say and to Hell with what anyone
else thinks.
Which brings me back to my work situation and the
catalyst that set off Part One of my totally un-PC diatribes which will be
released (I hope) over the course of the remainder of the year. During one of
my rants one of my co-workers brought up the fact that I just say what needs to
be said without a filter, and that took me back a bit, because this was said to
me in a conversation I had with some of my gaming buddies in our chat app. It
was also a topic of conversation between Shannon and I when talking about one
of her co-workers at her new job, and she was kind of surprised that I compared
myself to him because she never thought I was like that at work. The truth of
the matter is, I have become so accustomed to being this way at work that I don’t
give it a second thought. It does make them worried when we have corporate
visits because they know I will call things as I see them and won’t be
diplomatic about it. It would be one thing if I was off-base or just flat out
wrong about the things I am pointing out, but no one has yet been able to find
fault with them. What they don’t know, however, is that I simply just can’t be
bothered to deal with the Big Wigs. They are trapped in the realm of Brilliant
Incompetence, and it doesn’t matter how true my words may ring – even if
delivered in a diplomatic and reasonable way, it just simply cannot change the
corporate mindset. Quite frankly I have better things to do with my time – like
getting actual work done.
Now, the situations that have come up within my gaming
circle are a slightly different matter. At least with them, there’s still some semblance
of plain ole common sense that gives me hope that humanity is not completely
lost. At least we can have (somewhat) reasonable debates and conversations –
and even change a point of view or two. Over the summer, there was a situation in
the gaming industry where two developers who worked for a well-known and
respected gaming company were fired for their on-line interaction with fans of
their game. It sparked some righteous outrage as one of the developers (and the
one that began the negative interactions) was a female. As this became a topic
of discussion within my own circle, I began to notice our debates took on an
air of ridiculousness as several people were searching out on the Internet for
specific instances and information that would support their side of the
argument, all the while ignoring the vast reams of information that countered
their point. None of that was mentioned of course because, as Internet
Warriors, it is our job to ensure the cause we support is the right one, so we
filter out the information that does not hone to our ideals and raise our Sword
of Righteousness in the fight for “Truth”, “Justice”, and the Politically
Correct way.
It occurred to me then, but really hit home in the situation
I described in my last entry about looking up potty training – just how much we
have let the Internet and Social Media rule our lives and decisions on
practically a daily basis. I can’t count how many times similar situations have
come up either through overhearing conversations at work or through reading
conversations in my chat groups on-line to the ones I described in the first
part of this series. That day finally hit it home for me, that I too was slowly
allowing myself to become Brilliantly Incompetent by thinking that the Internet
is the place I need to go in order to help me solve my day to day trials and
tribulations, all the while ignoring the people who spent years of their lives studying,
practicing, and honing their skills to be able to help, teach, and cure.
That has been the catalyst. Ironically, the fire that
Star Wars lit under my ass to begin having more of these Conversations with
Myself in the Outhouse here and now has helped lift the mental pressure that
has been building up inside me for many months now. Ah, Life, it never ceases
to surprise me. So to all who are still reading this, be forewarned. Internet
Parenting was just the start. This is the first interlude. I cast off my
inhibitions. You may think me a dick; an asshole; a moron; insensitive; cruel;
and careless. I don’t care. As I have always said to others in my Internet
Battles and on-line interactions take whatever anyone has to say, including me,
with a healthy dose of salt (especially on the Internet). Some of the topics I
will be writing about in the weeks to come will undoubtedly piss people off,
offend people, make people cry, and more than likely make them think less of me
or even hate me. It will be your choice to continue reading or not. Either way
I don’t care. I have allowed myself to be eaten away by holding my tongue for
all of my life. I will continue to call out Bullshit as I see it, and I fully
expect to be called out on my own Bullshit as is justified. I will continue to
speak my mind as I see things through my perspective. Plain, Brutal, and
Honestly. Take it as you will.
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